Отправлено: 09.03.12 12:26. Заголовок: Have fun :)

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains!
Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I ´m a bell.
Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I ´m a wheelbarrow.
Don ´t let people push you around.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I ´m invisible.
Who said that?!

Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
What do you mean by that?

Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say.
Tell me the truth now, what ´s your REAL problem?

Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I ´m ugly!
Lay on the couch, face down.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I ´m a spoon.
Sit there and don ´t stir.

Doctor, doctor, I can ´t concentrate, one minute I ´m ok, and the next minute, I ´m blank!
And how long have you had this complaint?
What complaint?

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket.
You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor, I ´ve only got 59 seconds to live.
Wait a minute please.

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.
Don ´t answer!

 Отправлено: 09.03.12 12:29. Заголовок: Doctor, Doctor. I &..

Doctor, Doctor. I ´ve broken my arm in two places.
Well don ´t visit those places again!

Doctor, Doctor, You tell me that I have a serious problem which means that I must go into Hospital. What is it?
It ´s a big Building with lots of Doctors and Nurses in it!

Doctor, Doctor. My husband thinks that he ´s a Duck.
Well bring him to see me.
I can ´t. He ´s flown South for the Winter.

 Отправлено: 09.03.12 23:40. Заголовок: :sm38: some more ..

some more 'doctor, doctor' jokes

Patient - Doctor, doctor! I think I need glasses.
Man - You certainly do, this is a pet shop.


Patient - Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor - Take a seat.
Patient - I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Patient - Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
Doctor - I'll deal with you later.


Patient - Doctor, doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Doctor - Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

Patient - Doctor, doctor, I feel like a parrot. Doctor, doctor I feel like a parrot. Doctor, doctor I feel like a parrot…

 Отправлено: 12.03.12 14:30. Заголовок: :sm64: ..

 Отправлено: 15.03.12 18:51. Заголовок: Phone conversation between John Watt and Will Knot

Phone conversation between John Watt and Will Knot

- Hello, are you there?
- Yes, who are you please?
- I'm Watt.
- What's your name?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, what's your name?
- My name is John Watt.
- John what?
- Yes, are you Jones?
- No I'm Knott.
- Will you tell me your name then?
- Will Knott.
- Why not?
- My name is Knott.
- Not what?
- Not Watt, Knott.
- What?