Отправлено: 28.09.10 16:12. Заголовок: GENERAL IELTS WRITING TASK 1

 Отправлено: 28.09.10 16:14. Заголовок: Dear students, you a..

 Отправлено: 29.09.10 13:59. Заголовок: Nizhny Novgorod, Sep..

Nizhny Novgorod, September 29, 2010

Fly-by-Night Travel
To Whom It May Concern


Dear Sirs,


My name is Ms. Daria Lashkevich and I am writing to complaint about the tour to Sydney Fly-by-Night Travel arranged for me.

In the tour description which you kindly sent me per E-Mail on September, the 2nd you wrote that the four-star hotel “Sydney Dreams” whom with you have been working together for several years is considered to be one of the best quiet hotels situated close to the city center. In fact while my stay there – from September, the 12th until September, the 26th – the hotel appeared to be really noisy with music playing all over the night and lots of cars on the streets. Therefore, my holidays turned into a real torture at the night time.

However, all the problems don’t stop here, as the return flight had been considerably delayed and due to the late arrival to Moscow I missed my train and had to spend the whole night at the airport.

All in all, due to the inappropriate information I was given by your agency my holidays appeared to be quite a disappointment and I would appreciate receiving a compensation for my financial and moral damage.




Faithfully yours


Daria Lashkevich

 Отправлено: 29.09.10 20:32. Заголовок: To Fly-by-Night Trav..

To Fly-by-Night Travel

Dear Sirs,
I am writing in order to complain about a two-week tour to Sidney, which you suggested me a month ago.
To begin with, according to your website you have hotels located on the beach and therefore I was interested in the service, which you represented. However, it was an evidence that the location of the area was terrible and polluted with a number of drawbacks such as noise and a distance of about two kilometres from the hotel to the sea.
In addition to this the organisation of the flight was insufficient due to incorrect information of a time of previous ones. As a result my friend and I were dissatisfied and under this circumstances we had an outlay at the end of our adventure.
In conclusion I have to enquire about the refund and also your assistance. As follows you will see my personal contacts in order to solve and find the solution of that problem, which I mentioned previously.
Yours faithfully,
Anna Tsareva.

 Отправлено: 30.09.10 13:30. Заголовок: To whom it may conce..

To whom it may concern in Fly-by-Night Travel

Dear Sirs,

I am writing to complain about the holiday that I booked in your company 3 weeks ago.

Firstly I should say that I was really pleased with the work of the manager Olga Gor, who was consulting me about the trip. She replied my letters quickly, gave me full and acute information and was always ready to help, what I really appreciated.

Unfortunately my dreams about wonderful vacation were not to come true. First of all nobody met me in the airport in Sydney, though Olga persuaded me that your representative would do it. Therefore I had to spend $100 for a taxi to get to the hotel. Secondly, my hotel was located somewhere in the suburbs, although I had paid extra for staying in the city centre.

I suppose that it will be honest if you pay me the mentioned expenses in order to compensate me for the problems I had to force.

Look forward to getting a reply from you.

Yours faithfully,

Anastasia Omelkina

 Отправлено: 30.09.10 14:06. Заголовок: Daria, you have writ..

Daria, you have written a really nice letter, the structure is appropriate. Here are some comments.

Daria-Flash пишет:

цитата:

To Whom It May Concern* Dear Sirs, My name is Ms. Daria Lashkevich and I am writing to complaint* about the tour to Sydney that* Fly-by-Night Travel arranged for me. In the tour description which you kindly sent me per* E-Mail on September, the 2nd* you wrote that the four-star hotel “Sydney Dreams” whom with* you have been working together for several years is considered to be one of the best quiet hotels situated close to the city center. In fact, while my stay* there – from September, the 12th until September, the 26th – the hotel appeared to be really noisy with music playing all over the night and lots of cars on the streets. Therefore, my holidays turned into a real torture at the night time. However, all the problems don’t stop here, as the return flight had been* considerably delayed and due to the late arrival to Moscow I missed my train and had to spend the whole night at the airport. All in all, due to the inappropriate information I was given by your agency my holidays appeared to be quite a disappointment and I would appreciate receiving a compensation* for my financial and moral damage. Faithfully yours, Daria Lashkevich

* extra phrase, one greeting is enough
* noun; use a verb instead
* don't omit 'that' in formal writing
* you probably meant 'by'
* it's enough to write September, 2
* with which
* I was staying there (while + clause/gerund; during + noun)
* was (Past Perfect is unnecessary as the order of events ic chronological)
* refund

Good luck!

 Отправлено: 30.09.10 16:02. Заголовок: To Flight-by-Night T..

To Flight-by-Night Travel
To whom it may concern

I am writing to complain about the tour that I bought in your company a month ago.
Firstly, you had informed me that it would take me an hour to wait my flight, however, it kept me waiting for four hours, and I was enough tired of it.
Secondly, when i arrived nobody met me in the airport in Sydney, and as far as i know, meeting is your duty, so i was made to go to the hotel by my own way and spend extra money for taxi. Moreover, when the taxi got me to my hotel i was really shocked, because it was far from 4 stars and didn't look like the hotel on your website. There some reasons for it. The hotel was too far from the sea. Additionally, there wasn't a big swimming pool, instead of it, a little dirty pool was there. Also, you had promised me, that there would be a number of good night clubs near the hotel, but there were not. Nevertheless, i decided to occupy my room and i was frightened when i came inside it, since the room wasn't done and strange insects were in the bathroom
Due to this fact, i hope that you will agree to compensate my wastes and moral damage and we will wind a solution to this problem.
Look forward to getting a reply from you.

Yours faithfully,
Dmitry Pivikov

 Отправлено: 01.10.10 11:17. Заголовок: Very good, Anna! Goo..

Very good, Anna! Good job!

Please find below some remarks!

Anna Tsareva пишет:

цитата:

To Fly-by-Night Travel* Dear Sirs, I am writing in order to complain about a two-week tour to Sidney,* which you suggested me a month ago. To begin with, according to your website you have hotels located on the beach and therefore I was interested in the service, which you represented*. However, it was an evidence* that the location of the area was terrible and polluted with a number of drawbacks* such as noise and a distance of about two kilometres from the hotel to the sea. In addition to this, the organisation of the flight was insufficient* due to incorrect information of a time of previous ones. As a result my friend and I were dissatisfied and under this* circumstances we had an outlay at the end of our adventure. In conclusion I have to enquire* about the refund and also your assistance. As follows* you will see my personal contacts in order to solve and find the solution of* that problem, which I mentioned previously. Yours faithfully, Anna Tsareva.

*unnecessary (see the task)
*unnecessary comma (commas are used when the clause gives some extra information that can be easily removed)
*offered
*an evidence - доказательство; evident - очевидный
*the words don't collocate ('polluted with carbonic emissions')
*insufficient = not enough ('not satisfactory' would be better)
*the
*this - sg.; these/those - pl.
*ask for ('enquire about' means just to ask for information)
*Below
*two synonyms are used together ('find a solution to' would be enough)

Good luck!

 Отправлено: 05.10.10 09:01. Заголовок: Well done, Stasy! I..

Well done, Stasy!

I like the structure and style of your letter!

Here are some remarks.

Anastasia Omelkina пишет:

цитата:

To whom it may concern in Fly-by-Night Travel* Dear Sirs, I am writing to complain about the holiday that I booked in your company 3 weeks ago. Firstly*, I should say that I was really pleased with the work of the manager Olga Gor, who was consulting me about the trip. She replied my letters quickly, gave me full and acute* information and was always ready to help, what I really appreciated. Unfortunately, my dreams about a wonderful vacation were not to come true. First of all, nobody met me in the airport in Sydney, though* Olga persuaded* me that your representative would do it. Therefore I had to spend $100 for* a taxi to get to the hotel. Secondly, my hotel was located somewhere in the suburbs, although I had paid extra for staying in the city centre. I suppose that it will be honest if you pay me the mentioned expenses in order to compensate me for the problems I had to force*. Look* forward to getting a reply from you. Yours faithfully, Anastasia Omelkina

*unnecessary (one greeting is enough)
*To begin with (you have ‘first of all’ further in the text)
*up-to-date
*which
*although (‘though’ is informal)
*promised (?)
*on
*face
*I look (pro-nouns are omitted in informal writing)

Good luck!

 Отправлено: 05.10.10 09:20. Заголовок: Dmitry Pivikov пишет..

Dmitry Pivikov пишет:

цитата:

To Flight-by-Night Travel To whom it may concern I am writing to complain about the tour that I bought in your company a month ago. Firstly, you had informed* me that it would take me an hour to wait* my flight, however, it kept me waiting for four hours, and I was enough* tired of it. Secondly, when i* arrived nobody met me in the airport in Sydney, and as far as i know, meeting is your duty, so i was made* to go to the hotel by my own way* and spend extra money for* taxi. Moreover, when the taxi got me to my hotel i was really shocked,* because it was far from 4 stars and didn't look like the hotel on your website. There* some reasons for it. The hotel was too far from the sea. Additionally, there wasn't a big swimming pool, instead of it, a little dirty pool was there. Also, you had promised me, that there would be a number of good night clubs near the hotel, but there were not any. Nevertheless, i decided to occupy* my room and i was frightened when i came inside it*, since the room wasn't done* and strange insects were in the bathroom Due to this fact, i hope that you will agree to compensate my wastes* and moral damage* and we will wind* a solution to this problem. Look* forward to getting a reply from you. Yours faithfully, Dmitry Pivikov

*’informed’ is better as this is the beginning of the ‘story’
*wait for
*quite
*I (pro-noun ‘I’ is always capitalised
*’had’ is better
*on my own
*on (a)
*unnecessary comma
*There are
*enter
*cleaned (?)
*give me a refund
*for the moral damage
*find
*I look (personal pro-nouns are omitted in informal writing only)

Good luck!

 Отправлено: 05.10.10 09:27. Заголовок: :sm33: I've got..

I've got one question guys!
Why do you all seem to so much dislike the word 'REFUND'?
That's the best word ever to call the money you want to get paid for your costs and any kind of damage .
Please keep it in mind!

 Отправлено: 05.10.10 09:44. Заголовок: Probably, the word &..

Probably, the word "compensate" seems more familiar because of its Russian equivalent that sounds almost the same

"refund" is a really good word. I'll try to use it

 Отправлено: 05.10.10 12:48. Заголовок: Dear Sir\Madam I..

Dear Sir\Madam
I am writing to complain about the poor service which my family have got through your travel agency. My wife and I selected the two-week holiday tour to Sidney starting on 29 th Desember.
Your agency claimed we would be picked ip at the airoport and the hotel would be a five - star quolity. I dont beelieve that service can be so awful.First of all, we arrived to Sidney on 3 hours later, becouse our departure from Moscow was delayed and after this we had to spend all night sleeping in the air-terminal. Secondly the hotel was not five-star quolity, from my point of view,
it was a two-star quolity.The room was dirty, the bads were small and uncomfortable. Also the breakfast portions were very small, as a result we had to spend a 400$ on extra meals.The recepts is enclosed.
The best solution for my family would be 50% refund of the tour cost.You can contact to me by the address or by phone: 8555(4555-55-77). I exept to hear from you as soon as possible.
Your faithfuly.
Alexander.B.

 Отправлено: 08.10.10 10:35. Заголовок: Good letter, Alexand..

Good letter, Alexander!

The topic is fully covered!

alexander пишет:

цитата:

Dear Sir\Madam I am writing to complain about the poor service which my family have got through* your travel agency. My wife and I selected the two-week holiday tour to Sidney starting on 29 th Desember*. Your agency claimed we would be picked up at the airport and the hotel would be a five - star quolity*. I don't beelieve* that service can be so awful. First of all, we arrived to* Sidney on* 3 hours later,* becouse* our departure from Moscow was delayed and after this we had to spend all night sleeping in the air-terminal. Secondly, the hotel was not five-star quolity*, from my point of view, it was a two-star quality*.The room was dirty, the bads* were small and uncomfortable. Also the breakfast portions were very small, as a result we had to spend a 400$ on extra meals. The recepts* is* enclosed. The best solution for my family would be a 50% refund of the tour cost. You can contact to* me by the address or by phone*: 8555(4555-55-77). I exept* to hear from you as soon as possible. Your faithfuly,* Alexander B.

*from (?)
*December, 29
*’a five-star one’ is better (check the spelling of ‘quality’)
*believe
*in (arrive in a city/country, arrive at an airport/station, etc.)
*unnecessary comma
*unnecessary pre-position
*because
*see the comment above
*see the comment above
*see the comment above
*beds
*receipts
*are
*unnecessary pre-position
*on the phone below
*expect (still, 'I look forward to hearing from you...' is better)
*Yours faithfully

Good luck!

 Отправлено: 04.03.11 19:47. Заголовок: Dear Mr.Barett, I..

Dear Mr.Barett,
I'm writing to you to inform you how disappointed I m with the two week holiday to Sydney which I booked with your Travel agency from 20th January to 5th February 2011
To begin with we were supposed to be at Sydney on 20 th April early morning but due to ten hours flight delay it was almost midnight when we reached Sydney, which caused us so many difficulties of locating my relatives at Sydney.And the accommodation was a disaster,After a long journey we wanted to rest but the hotel was noisy because of the parties were going on and we were awake all night
My husband is still suffering from bad stomachache because of the hotel foods.We came back with a great disappointment.
considering all these I request you to make a refund from the total holiday package which I paid,And we hope to continue business with you considering we will not face any of these consequences in the future.

Thank you

Sally hofm

 Отправлено: 14.03.11 12:01. Заголовок: sally пишет: Dear M..

sally пишет:

цитата:

Dear Mr.Barett, I'm* writing to you* to inform you how disappointed I m* with the two week* holiday to Sydney which I booked with your Travel agency from 20th January to 5th February 2011 To begin with* we were supposed to be at* Sydney on 20 th April early morning but due to ten hours* flight delay it was almost midnight when we reached Sydney, which caused us so many difficulties of locating my relatives at* Sydney*.And the accommodation was a disaster,After* a long journey we wanted to rest but the hotel was noisy because of the parties were going on and we were awake all night My husband is still suffering from bad stomachache* because of the hotel foods*.We came back with a great disappointment. considering* all these* I request you to make a refund from the total holiday package which I paid,*And we hope to continue business with you* considering* we will not face any of these consequences in the future. Thank you* Sally hofm*

sally,

you managed to answer the question clearly, the task was fulfilled. Try to use more various linking devices.


I'm*, m* avoid contractions in formal letters
to you* unnecessary words - 'you' is repeated in this sentence
two week* use a hyphen
To begin with* comma
at* in
ten hours* a ten-hour
Sydney* word repetition
,After* full stop or no capital letter
bad stomachache* use an indefinite article
foods* uncountable noun
considering* capital letter
these* this
,* full stop
to continue business with you* to stay your clients?
considering* word repetition
Thank you*
Thank you for your assistance.
Yours sincerely,
hofm* Hofm

Good luck!