Отправлено: 03.11.09 14:32. Заголовок: Pie Chart page 85(IELTS Practise Tests Plus2)

Page 85
Pie chart
World water use, 2000.

On the image we see information about world water use in 2000 year in common and water use in different countryes in the same year. We can compare this charts.
The aime of this report describe water needs in agriculture,domestic and industry spheres. Return to the first pie diagramm we can see that water use for agriculture has first position. This is 70%. Other 30% devide domestic and industry spheres. Water consumption was 22% for industry and only 8% for domestic.
Second chart compares countries in there water use. India has the biggest percent in agriculture(92%), still Canada has the lower(8%). Speaking about water use in industry sphere, Canada leads with 80%. It shows that this country has good production. New Zealand has middle results- 44% agriculture, nearly the same 46%-domestic,10% industry. As we can seen from China agriculture is 2/3 of total amout. This country has almost equvalent results, how in first pie chart.
In short percent water use in countries is the same,how we can see on common pie chart. Results are right and they show the biggest water use in agriculture. Second table gives for us more exact results.

 Отправлено: 10.11.09 00:33. Заголовок: Checked) Here you are!

Доброго времени суток, Павел! Спасибо за осмысление сего сложнейшего набора диаграмм!
В целом неплохо, анализ в меру подробный, логичный, можно представить, о чем идет речь, даже не глядя на графики. Это плюс. Вот текст вашей работы с некоторыми поправками. В квадратные скобки взяты слова и выражения, которые лучше исключить из текста. Синим цветом выделены слова, правописание которых нужно отработать. А жирным шрифтом - добавленное при проверке.

Paul пишет:

цитата:

[On the image we see] THE GRAPH GIVES information about TOTALworld water use in 2000 year [in common] and water use in different countries in the same year. We can compare these charts. The aim of this report IS TO describe water needs in agriculturAL, domestic and industrIAL spheres. [Return to] FROM the first pie diagramme we can see that [water use for agriculture has first position] THE AMOUNT OF WATER USED FOR AGRICULTURAL PURPOSES WAS THE BIGGEST. This is 70%. The other 30% WAS CONSUMED BY [divide] domestic and industrIAL spheres. Water consumption was 22% for industry and only 8% for THE domestic SECTOR. THE second chart compares countries in TERMS OF their water use. India has the biggest percentAGE OF WATER USED in agriculture (92%) WHILE [still] Canada has the loweST ONE[8%]. Speaking about water use in THE industrIAL sphere, Canada leads with 80%. [It shows that this country has good production]*. New Zealand has AVERAGE [middle] results: 44% OF WATER IS CONSUMED BY agriculture, nearly the same [46%] - BY THE domestic SECTOR AND 10% - BY industry. As we can seen from THE GRAPH, IN China agriculture CONSUMES [is] 2/3 of THE total amout OF WATER. This country has almost equivalent results TO THOSE SHOWN [how] in THE first pie chart. In short, THE percentAGE OF water useD in GIVEN countries is the same AS [how] we can see FROM [on common] THE FIRST pie chart. THE results [are right and they]** show THAT the biggest PROPORTION OF water IS useD in agriculture. THE second CHART [table] gives [for] us more exact FIGURES [results].

* В требования к первому письменному заданию экзамена не входит оценка, что хороши и что плохо! Нужно заставить себя ограничиться сухим описанием данных!
** Опять же, вашей задачей в этой части экзамена не является оценка, правильны ли результаты чего-л..

В целом, описание очень логично, за исключением заключения (оно кажется несколько противоречивым). Непонятно, например, почему сказано, что употребление воды в разных странах такое же, как показано на графике, дающем сводную информацию по миру, ведь это не так.

Но сильными сторонами работы являются: уместный вокабуляр, емкость изложения, логичность речи!

Good luck at the exam!